Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
