What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
