In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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