I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
