Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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