Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
