So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
