i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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