Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
