Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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