I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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