i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
