You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
