Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
