Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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