You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
