oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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