there's paper in my vomit.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
