You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
