Betty ford says i'm here all night
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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