I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
where are my eyebrows?
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