My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
