it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
