he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
