i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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