There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
