you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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