its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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