I love black thongs
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
