so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize