i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
