i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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