I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
