she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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