So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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