yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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