those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
