he shaved USA in his pubs
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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