Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
