I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
