I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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