i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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