we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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