you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
