I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
