**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
