i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
