I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
