Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
