kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
ok first of all what the fuck
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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