I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
