if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
