Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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