You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
