White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
