Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
