when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
