Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
