Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
