cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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