So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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